Forgiveness Letter to Myself

Dear Dora,

The pain is still alive. It’s never stopped hurting. And till this day I will never forget. You left me, better yet; you abandoned me when I needed you most. My entire eighth grade year we were drifting apart. We went from talking every single day to once a month, if I was lucky. That was the hardest year of my life. You knew about my boy problems, about my problems at home with my mom and dad, and about the pressure I was experiencing with all these high schools. And on top of that, I had to worry about losing a best friend. It was ridiculous. I was already overwhelmed with everything going on in my life and quite frankly, I didn’t have the time or energy to waste it on you.

The worst part about this whole situation is that you never put in the effort. You never tried to make it right. I called you out on this; you told me that you were going to try to make this friendship work. Well that was a great, big, huge lie wasn’t it? Did you think that by showing up to my eighth grade graduation meant that everything will be fine? Of course I was happy to see you there, hence the enormous hug, but you cannot just keep popping in and out of my life like that. It was not fair to me.

I remember that day as if it were yesterday. It was the day of the Boston Celtics parade. I saw you see me. You kept on walking though. And if it weren’t for your friend stopping to talk to mine, you would have never stopped and walked back. By continuing to walk, you didn’t just walk away from me; you walked all over my heart. Not only that but when you walked back to your friend because she was taking too long, you didn’t even have the common courtesy to hug me back. Putting aside everything that we went through, I still managed to put aside our differences and show excitement when I saw you. This entire situation killed me. And even though I still feel that pain…


… I forgive you.


Love,
Vanessa