Abusive Relationship

Dear Diary,

He did it again today.




I was happy all day. "Baby, i miss yu so fcken much. I guess thatsz wut happensz wen yur separated frm the 1 wit whom yur in love wit tho." That's the cute little text message that my boyfriend Carlos sent me, I passed my AP calculus test with flying colors, the food at lunch was great, and I didn't have too much homework tonight. Everything was going perfectly.

I felt my phone vibrating during lunch, looked down and saw that Carlos was calling. I got up, ran over to the bathroom, and answered the phone to his wonderful voice. He called because he missed me. Isn't that just the cutest thing ever? I told him that I didn't have a lot of homework today so Carlos decided to take me out to dinner. He told me that he was going to pick me up after school. I was smiling for the rest of the day.

It was after school and Carlos wasn't here yet. I was waiting and waiting when John, a friend from school, came up to me and asked if I wanted to go get a slushie with him. I was sitting around doing nothing so I said yes. While John and I were waiting for our slushies, Carlos called. Carlos said that he was five minutes away so I told John that we should hurry up simply because I know that Carlos would have been pissed.

When I arrived to the school, Carlos wasn't there yet. I said my goodbye to John there just so that Carlos wouldn't see. He arrived a couple of minutes later.

Carlos greeted me with the biggest and most romantic kiss ever. He handed me a single rose and told me that he has been thinking of me all day. We went to the Cheesecake Factory and had an amazing time. After dinner we went to chill at his apartment for a little while before it was time for me to go home.

We started cuddling and began to watch our favorite movie together, Love and Basketball. We started talking and he asked me what I was doing before he got to the school. I hesitated. I knew what he would do if I told him the truth. "What the fuck! What's taking you so long? I asked you a simple question." I looked at him hopelessly. "You were with John huh? HUH? You stupid smut. Is it so hard for you to keep your legs closed?" Carlos pushed me off and stood up. I yelled at him, told him that he's being immature and on that elementary bullshit status. "Grow the hell up. You never see me getting mad when your chilling with all the smuts around your way. But once you see me chilling with another boy you get insecure and..." I never got to finish my sentence.



How is it possible that the person who made me so happy a couple of hours ago just hurt me so bad? How can he tell me that he loves me and then slap/punch me the way he does? I just can't understand. I gave him my heart, I gave him my love, I gave him everything that he ever wanted, but all I ever got in return were some sweet words, cute dates, and bruises.

I love him, I really do. He's my first love and I just don't know how to get over him. I don't want to get over him though because I know that he loves me too. I just wish that everything will work out. I mean why wouldn't it work out? We've been through a lot together already: through the beating, the bruises, the slaps, and the occasional blood. I mean sacrifice is what love is all about right?


He'll stop soon... I swear he will.