Homosexual Student In the Closet

Dear Journal,

I put on my abercrombie jeans, my hollister shirt, my prada shoes, and my h&m jacket this morning. I got my eyebrows waxed yesterday so their looking fresh, gelled up my hair so that it wouldn't move a bit, and threw on some lip balm so that my lips would look just right. After forty-five minutes, I was ready to go to school.

I got to school like twenty minutes early so I did what I always did. I sat down with John, Jonathan, Chris, Adisa, and that whole crew. They all kept talking about homecoming, I stayed quiet because I didn't go. "I don't even know her name but she had the fattest ass I've ever seen. On some real shit, she broke me." "Chill, she's fake cuz. You see the girl I was dancing with? Now she's real. Plus, at least I bagged this chick. You got nuffin." "Ayo Will, why didn't your faggot ass go to homecoming?" The one question I didn't want asked to me was just asked.


"I was kicking it with this biddie."
"Word? Is she dope?"
"Yea... she's attractive... I guess."
"Where's she from? Does she have friends? You should put me on?"
"She's from... Andover.... yea yea. She's from Andover."
"Yikes! Never mind then. I'm not trooping it for a female."

I knew that Chris wouldn't know anyone from Andover, hence why I said it. I didn't want them to know what I was really doing and where I really was at during homecoming.

I was really at this boy's house. His name is Dan and I met him not too long ago when I went to this gay club near Fenway with my fake ID. He was nineteen and more experienced than I was. All of his friends and family members already know about him being gay. Dan was trying to give me advice on this subject. "If they're your true friends, they'll accept you for who you are. And your family is going to love you regardless. They kinda have to." This did not make me feel better. I was raised into a Christian family and my family thinks that gay people are sinners. My friends that are boys only talk about girls. And if it's not about girls, it's about sports, none which I play.



If I had the choice to be straight, I would be. I watch my friends talk about girls, how they hook up with them and such, and I wish I could relate. I just want to fit in. I don't want to have to pretend that I'm bagging girls in front of them just so that they wouldn't think anything. "Yo, out of all of us, Will is the best dressed and should be bagging more girls, but his swag just ain't right."



I'm tired of hearing this because my swag is right... just not with girls.

Abusive Relationship

Dear Diary,

He did it again today.




I was happy all day. "Baby, i miss yu so fcken much. I guess thatsz wut happensz wen yur separated frm the 1 wit whom yur in love wit tho." That's the cute little text message that my boyfriend Carlos sent me, I passed my AP calculus test with flying colors, the food at lunch was great, and I didn't have too much homework tonight. Everything was going perfectly.

I felt my phone vibrating during lunch, looked down and saw that Carlos was calling. I got up, ran over to the bathroom, and answered the phone to his wonderful voice. He called because he missed me. Isn't that just the cutest thing ever? I told him that I didn't have a lot of homework today so Carlos decided to take me out to dinner. He told me that he was going to pick me up after school. I was smiling for the rest of the day.

It was after school and Carlos wasn't here yet. I was waiting and waiting when John, a friend from school, came up to me and asked if I wanted to go get a slushie with him. I was sitting around doing nothing so I said yes. While John and I were waiting for our slushies, Carlos called. Carlos said that he was five minutes away so I told John that we should hurry up simply because I know that Carlos would have been pissed.

When I arrived to the school, Carlos wasn't there yet. I said my goodbye to John there just so that Carlos wouldn't see. He arrived a couple of minutes later.

Carlos greeted me with the biggest and most romantic kiss ever. He handed me a single rose and told me that he has been thinking of me all day. We went to the Cheesecake Factory and had an amazing time. After dinner we went to chill at his apartment for a little while before it was time for me to go home.

We started cuddling and began to watch our favorite movie together, Love and Basketball. We started talking and he asked me what I was doing before he got to the school. I hesitated. I knew what he would do if I told him the truth. "What the fuck! What's taking you so long? I asked you a simple question." I looked at him hopelessly. "You were with John huh? HUH? You stupid smut. Is it so hard for you to keep your legs closed?" Carlos pushed me off and stood up. I yelled at him, told him that he's being immature and on that elementary bullshit status. "Grow the hell up. You never see me getting mad when your chilling with all the smuts around your way. But once you see me chilling with another boy you get insecure and..." I never got to finish my sentence.



How is it possible that the person who made me so happy a couple of hours ago just hurt me so bad? How can he tell me that he loves me and then slap/punch me the way he does? I just can't understand. I gave him my heart, I gave him my love, I gave him everything that he ever wanted, but all I ever got in return were some sweet words, cute dates, and bruises.

I love him, I really do. He's my first love and I just don't know how to get over him. I don't want to get over him though because I know that he loves me too. I just wish that everything will work out. I mean why wouldn't it work out? We've been through a lot together already: through the beating, the bruises, the slaps, and the occasional blood. I mean sacrifice is what love is all about right?


He'll stop soon... I swear he will.

Notes - Kid Gets Bullied

Kid Gets Bullied

• isolated from everyone
• self conscious
• afraid to talk to new people
• inability to communicate with others
• problems talking to the opposite sex
• depression
• lack of happiness
• lack of confidence
• constant fear of rejection
• having to explain to one's mom why no one calls the house or ever comes over
• developing trust issues over time

Letter from Mom to Me [Letter 5]

Querida Dorita,

First of all, quiero decirte que te quiero mucho and that I am super proud of you


Dorita, I remember long time ago cuando te conte the story about how I was thinking of aborting ju. Ju were still little at the time and I don't tink that ju understooood me completely. Tu papa wasn't around enough. Siempre estaba trabajando. And thee last thing I wanted was to have another boy. That iis the only reason why those thoughts were going through my head. Tu papa thankfully changed my mind, y tambien mi corazon.

When I first found out that ju weren't going to be a boy estaba feliz. Ay dios mio, my dreams came true. I wus already pictchuring it. Ju helping me out with the deeshes, folding clothes with me, cooking en la keetchen. Tu papa was right and everytheeng turned out goood.

Te nesesito, te quiero, y te amo. Ju are so important en mi life and without you mi vida no tendra sentido. I want ju to know that ju will always have me as a friend and that I will be there for ju en las buenas y en las malas. I will always be there for you.

Gracias for being my daughter, and not only dat pero for being the daughter that most mothers wished they had. You are a excellent hija and I ask Dios everyday que seas that excellent daughter that I know and love.

Que Dios te bendiga y te proteja para siempre. Te amo mucho con todo mi corazon.

Tu Madre,
Irma

Letter to Future Husband [Letter 4]

Dear Hubby,


If I could spend the rest of my life with anyone, it would be with you... no one else but you.


The hugging, the kissing, the loving will be perfect. The screaming, the fighting, the arguing will be hell. The way you leave the toilet seat up is going to irk my nerves and the way I forget to put the cap on the tooth paste is going to irk yours. I'm going to tell you this right now, you're going to piss me off. And when you do piss me off I will either not talk to you or try extremely hard to not be the first person to break the silence.

I will tell you everything straight up. If your shirt is ugly, I will tell you. If the way you're acting is different and it's aggravating me, I will tell you, unlike all the immature females these days. I will be honest with you every single day of our lives. I expect and hope that you be the same way. Do not be afraid to hurt my feelings because I will not be afraid to hurt yours.

I have never been the type of person to cheat. That's not my style. I am a loyal person. If it's you that I said "yes" to then it's you that I will be loving. I will love you with every single beat of my heart. Your smile and your lips will make my heart flutter. The way you say my name will make my heart skip a beat. Looking into your eyes will make me want to fall in love with you all over again and the sound of your heart beat will be playing my favorite song.

I am a cuddler. We will cuddle every night and we will wake up cuddling. While we are watching movies we will be cuddling. When I am mad at you and you don't want me to be, cuddle with me. Hold me and never let go. Tell me that you love me, show me that you love me, cuddle with me like you love me. Cuddling, cuddling, cuddling. I will never get sick of it.

I am not like other females. I will not pick fights with you every second I get or for every stupid little thing that you do. I will try to keep the happiness alive. I will make our marriage interesting, without any boring moments. I will keep you on your toes. I will live life like it's handed to me. I won't have everything planned out and mistakes will definitely be made on my part. I will say insensitive things from time to time.

Do you still love me?


I knew you would.


It wasn't love at first sight and I didn't know that I was going to marry you after our very first date. Shit, knowing me I probably was second guessing even going out for a second date. You didn't sweep me off my feet and I wasn't amazed with your good looks. You didn't have a gold glow are your face and romantic music wasn't playing when we first kissed. You took me out to a cheap restaurant and the food was awful. We didn't have a fairytale beginning, but I know that we will have a fairytale ending.


I love you,
Wifey <3

Letter From Mother to unborn Baby [Letter 3]

Dear Baby,


When I first found out that I was pregnant, I made a promise. That promise was that I would write about my pregnancy at least once a month. And then I promised that I would give you what I wrote for your 18th birthday. Your reading this eighteen years from now. I hope that after reading these letters, you never doubt my love.

Month #1

I'M PREGNANT !!! I just found out. I am extremely excited, but nervous at the same time. I have yet to tell your father. I'm kind of afraid of his reaction. What if he's not excited as I am? That's the only fear that I have. I think I'm going to wait a while. Maybe I'll tell him next month... I love you.

MONTH #2

I just told your dad. I'm so happy with his reaction. He hasn't stopped smiling since. The second I told him, he called his entire family. Your grandma and grandpa from your daddy's side are coming over next week. They are excited too. You're going to be their first grand son or grand daughter. They can't wait... I love you.

MONTH #3

Honestly, life couldn't get any better right now. I'm being treated like a queen. Anything I want, I get it. The morning sickness is starting though. And so isn't the nausea. It's truly a horrible feeling, but I'll go through it all, as long as I have you in the end... I love you.

MONTH #4

I am not in the mood for much now. Everything is hitting me hard. Your father is working double shifts, day and night, just so that we can have enough once you're born. Hopefully once your born everything will go well. A great big happy family, that's how I imagined my family. Me staying at home taking care of you, while your dad is out working. I'll start working after you're about four. I want to see you grow, I want to be there to witness everything... I love you.

MONTH #5

I was sitting down today, thinking about the day you're going to be born. Thinking about your first tooth, your first time crawling, about your first time sitting up on your own. Just thinking about these things makes me want to push the fast-forward button, just so I can experience it all... I love you.

MONTH #6

WOW! My tummy is getting bigger everyday. Every where I go I have people asking me whether you're a boy or a girl, whether they can rub my belly or not, if they can rub my belly. Of course I tell them, because when ever I answer these repetitive questions, it reminds me of how happy I'm going to be once your in my arms... I love you.

MONTH #7

The last thing I ever wanted to happen happened. Your daddy and I were on our way to Macy's when a car crashed into us. I was rushed to the hospital. I was bleeding from my forehead, but you were the only person I worried about. I anxiously awaited as they ran tests after tests after tests. They said you would be fine... I love you.

MONTH # 8

Walking up and down the stairs has never been this hard. Trying to sleep is even harder. It takes me forever just to find the perfect spot. I guess that's what happens when I gain fifty pounds... I love you

OCTOBER 13, 2008 !

"I CAN SEE THE HEAD!" shouted the doctor. Tears fell down my cheeks as I pushed harder. The fact that your head was now visible inspired me. I've never pushed that hard in my life. I was in labor for eleven hours. The pain was horrific. The screams were mind boggling. The outcome was worth it all...


... I love you.

Love Forever and Always,
Mami <3

Letter from aborted baby to mother [Letter 2]

Dear “Mommy,”

I would have been fifteen today.

Notice how I put mommy in quotes. I put it in quotes because that’s what you would have been if you grew the balls to have me. Don’t try to explain yourself because I already know the reasons why you aborted me. Is being nineteen years old a good enough reason to you? Honestly, I find that so pathetic. You said that you were too young to have a baby. Apparently you weren’t too young to open your legs.

I know I sound mad. Wanna know why? Because I am. The decision you made was selfish. The only person you thought about was you. You were afraid of struggling. You didn’t want to be one of those mothers that survived off of food stamps. I hope you’re happy. Because you’re not one of those mothers, in fact you’re not a mother at all.

I could have been a doctor, a lawyer, a singer, or something. I could have been making large amounts of money. It makes me sad because these are all things that I could have been doing, but I can’t, because you never gave me the opportunity to be able to or even try these things. Who knows what the future may have held for me? Now, neither of us will know, simply because you took my life away.


I’m looking down from heaven right now, and I’m jealous. I’m watching you interact with your two kids: Luis, an eleven year old and Jorge, a six year old. I could have been a part of that happy family that you guys have. But I was the one that was unfortunate enough to be eliminated.


I just have one question ask. I want an honest answer.



Do you regret it?



Love always,
Your mistake.

Letter to Coach [Letter 1]

Dear Scafidi,

It was my freshman year and I wasn't even gonna show up to tryouts. Actually, I didn't even show up to the first day. I look back at that time, and I'm actually kinda happy that Ms. Samek pushed me into a corner and basically forced me to show up to the second day of tryouts. I got so much out of that season, it's unbelievable, and some of those things I owe it all to you.

I waltzed into tryouts the second day pretty much knowing that I was going to make it on varsity. I've played basketball my entire life, and on top of that, I played with the boys, which made me more aggressive than the other girls. But, I didn't have fundamentals. When going up for lay ups, I would jump off my right foot. Since I never played organized basketball, I was never aware of this mistake.

I will never forget about the practice where you isolated me from the entire team. You made me do lay ups for a good half an hour, by myself, on one half of the court, practicing to jump off of my left foot. I struggled. I really did. I got aggravated. I wanted to give up. But you knew that I had the potential to be a great basketball player, and you never let me quit. Throughout the 06-07 season, I struggled from time to time. There would be plays during practices and even games where I would fuck up. And it was no longer you telling me that I made a mistake, I was then learning to realize my own mistakes. During the 07-08 season, I got better at it. It was all muscle memory and my body finally learned to memorize it. I don't remember the last time I jumped off of my left foot when going for a right handed lay up.

I've always had a nice jump shot; the only problem was that my form was hideous. Before high school, my shots would go in simply because I was talented; sometimes it went in because of luck. But you helped me better my form. "Elbow over your knee," those are the only words that go through my head when ever I shoot the ball now. Those are the words that pop into my head whenever I miss a shot and I keep it in mind the next time I'm shooting.

You're tough on us a lot, you scream, you yell, and you know exactly how to push our buttons. You push us further, make us go the extra mile, and you give us the same amount of hard work that we give you. Although some of the girls on the team take what you do or say out of proportion, I don't. I could not imagine having any other coach for this team. If you were not the coach, I don't think that I would try as hard as I usually do. I appreciate everything that you have done for not only me, but for the team. You have never let us down and regardless of the victories you always realized our improvement. For this, I thank you.

You are a great coach, and don't let anyone tell you differently.

Love,
Dora #33

Forgiveness Letter to Myself

Dear Dora,

The pain is still alive. It’s never stopped hurting. And till this day I will never forget. You left me, better yet; you abandoned me when I needed you most. My entire eighth grade year we were drifting apart. We went from talking every single day to once a month, if I was lucky. That was the hardest year of my life. You knew about my boy problems, about my problems at home with my mom and dad, and about the pressure I was experiencing with all these high schools. And on top of that, I had to worry about losing a best friend. It was ridiculous. I was already overwhelmed with everything going on in my life and quite frankly, I didn’t have the time or energy to waste it on you.

The worst part about this whole situation is that you never put in the effort. You never tried to make it right. I called you out on this; you told me that you were going to try to make this friendship work. Well that was a great, big, huge lie wasn’t it? Did you think that by showing up to my eighth grade graduation meant that everything will be fine? Of course I was happy to see you there, hence the enormous hug, but you cannot just keep popping in and out of my life like that. It was not fair to me.

I remember that day as if it were yesterday. It was the day of the Boston Celtics parade. I saw you see me. You kept on walking though. And if it weren’t for your friend stopping to talk to mine, you would have never stopped and walked back. By continuing to walk, you didn’t just walk away from me; you walked all over my heart. Not only that but when you walked back to your friend because she was taking too long, you didn’t even have the common courtesy to hug me back. Putting aside everything that we went through, I still managed to put aside our differences and show excitement when I saw you. This entire situation killed me. And even though I still feel that pain…


… I forgive you.


Love,
Vanessa

My Intros

I saw him everyday that summer, never imagining that I will never see him again, nor will anyone else.



January 12, 2007. It was a Friday night.


I signed into myspace before basketball practice Saturday morning. Looked at my top friends. "RIP LIL LOU" was everywhere. Shock overwhelmed my body. This couldn't be true. It was a mistake. How could they kill him?



He was only thirteen.



"I got your back, and anything else you need" my best friend said as we walked by a group of girls who we disliked.

I was never a fighter, always a lover. I avoided drama as much as possible. This time, it seemed inevitable. We made eye contact with those girls, stared at them up and down, as they did the same. Walked right past them.


They did nothing.


It wasn't meant to be.

I thought he was different. He wasn't. His stupid mistake ruined it all. And he never even tried to make up for it.

It will find its way.


There I was in the lunch line, standing next to a stranger, not knowing that a couple of months later she would be my best friend.

I was play fighting with Shawnee Ross. Pretending as if I were mad at her. I pretended as if I replaced her with a new friend.


I put my arm around her. I never met this girl in my life nor have I ever seen her around school. Told her to go along with it. She surprisingly did. She made it seem as if I've known her for years, knowing deep down inside that this was the first time we've ever been around each other. She had my back that day...

... and Lauren has ever since.


I've never cared about someone as much as this.

He was born. Learned how to walk. Learned how to talk. Could go to the bathroom on his own. He grew up right before my eyes and its felt like a roller coaster. He's eight years old now and I couldn't love him anymore.


My nephew is my reason to look forward to tomorrow.

Daryl's Finished Intros

The truck could only be heading in our direction.

I looked over at my mom as if it were the last time I would ever see her again. The past sixteen years of my life flashed before my eyes and my sweetest memories were the ones that I spent with her. While looking back at my life there was only one thing that I regretted and that was never telling her just how much she meant to me. I would give anything just to glance into her sparkling eyes and say "I love you" for the first time. She was the love of my ...

My eyes opened to a new world.

I saw the struggle. I saw them fight for their lives and it killed me inside to know that there was nothing I can do. My efforts were useless. I was too deep into this business. Selling heroine and cocaine never bothered me before, but after watching my only brother die from an overdosage changed my life. Instead of helping people, I was encouraging them to continue killing their bodies just so i can have a good meal and a couple of extra dollars in my pocket. I was ashamed. Not of my brother. Not of my customers. Of myself... and no one else.

Movement was not an option with all the wiring around my body.

A monster. Something or someone out of this world. That's what I saw when I looked at myself in the mirror. "How could this have fucking possibly happened to me! I knew that going mountain hiking was a bad idea." I looked over to my left and saw no one. I looked over to my right and saw no one. I was disappointed. But then I looked towards the door and there he was. My best friend, Mike. Through thick and thin. Better or worse. He was there.

Worry suffocated my heart as I looked upon the limp frame of my mother.

Cancer. To those that we are not close to and have it, we say "poor thing." That poor thing was my mother. She was everything to me. My everything was slowly deteriorating. And eventually, I'd have nothing.

She made my heart skip a beat.

"H-h-h-heyyyyy." My voice crackled every time that I was encountered with her eloquence. She made me never want to love...

anyone else but her.

Introductions

1. I saw him everyday that summer, never imagining that I will never see him again, nor will anyone else.
2. "I got your back, and anything else you need" my best friend said as we walked by a group of girls who we disliked.
3. It wasn't meant to be.
4. There I was in the lunch line, standing next to a stranger, not knowing that a couple of months later she would be my best friend.
5. I've never cared about someone as much as this.

The Price I Had to Pay Was Greater

Stefanie Reyes was her name and being best friends with each other was an understatement. She was like a sister or a mother to me because of her constant concern. She was only a year older but the way she took care of me made our age difference seem greater. Stefanie and I were best friends for a long period of time and sadly after an incident, our friendship went down the drain.

The summer going into my freshman year, I had quite possibly the best boyfriend. Out of all the boyfriends I have ever had in my life, he was the only one that I regretted breaking up with. Obviously, since I really liked him, I introduced him to all of my friends, including Stefanie. All of my friends seemed to have really liked him and this pleased me. I was excited that my boyfriend and best friends got along.

During this time period, I also had another best friend named Vanessa Castillo. Vanessa and Stefanie, for some idiotic reason, despised each other. This was very difficult on my part. It got to the point where I could not talk about Vanessa to Stefanie and vice versa. It bothered me a lot the fact that two of my best friends were incapable of making peace.

My boyfriend at the time, Barnes, had a best friend named Edgar. Edgar and Stefanie pretty much had something going on. Therefore Edgar’s friends were her friends, including my boyfriend. As my relationship with Barnes continued, I began to notice something. I noticed that Stefanie and Barnes were spending a whole lot of time talking on the phone. It was to the point where Stefanie would hang up on me to talk to my boyfriend. This angered me very much and also made me kind of jealous. I never expressed my feelings about this situation solely because I knew that Stefanie was my best friend and I hoped that she would never do anything to hurt me.

One night, I received a phone call from my best friend Vanessa. She was acting shady so I became curious and told her to tell me what ever was on her mind. She refused and refused to tell me until I said “if you loved me, you would.” She immediately became nervous and tried really hard to refrain from telling me. I eventually got it out of her, and in the end I wish that I never did. Vanessa told me that a reliable source told her that Stefanie was seen flirting and making out with my boyfriend Barnes. My first reaction was bursting out into tears. That was the very first time in my life I ever felt betrayed by a friend and it was unfathomable how angry I felt.

After hanging up with Vanessa, I called Stefanie and basically said the meanest things one can possibly think of. I said every bad word and every insulting thing. She had absolutely no clue what I was talking about. I accused her of being a bad best friend, and on top of that I accused her of hooking up with my boyfriend. Apparently, Vanessa heard the story wrong and it was Edgar who was seen kissing and flirting with Stefanie. After telling me her side of the story, Stefanie busted out into tears and hung up the phone. I called back a million times with the intentions of apologizing. I left numerous voicemails, comments on myspace, and instant messages. She never replied back.

Me Talk Pretty One Day

1. Sedaris takes this potentially boring experience and turns it into a humorous essay by pointing out and making fun of his own downfalls. At the beginning of this humorous essay, Sedaris begins explaining how shocked he was when the teacher asked the class if they knew the alphabet: "It was startling because (a) I hadn't been asked that question in a while and (b) I realized, while laughing, that I myself did not know the alphabet" (274). Sedaris is basically saying how pathetic it is that he did not know the alphabet, but instead of dwelling on it, Sedaris decides to make fun of it. This can be seen as deadpan humor. Sedaris does not make jokes to entertain the audience but to make him feel better about himself.

The funniest parts of the essay were when Sedaris purposely misspelled the words that he was unable to comprehend because of his inexperience with the language: "Were you always this palicmkrexis?" (276). When Sedaris misspells those words, he is attempting to appeal to the audience by being funny.


Sedaris reveals things about himself at the beginning of the essay by openly stating facts about himself: "At the age of forty-one, I am returning to school" (274). That is pretty self explanatory. But throughout the essay, Sedaris reveals things about himself in an indirect manner. Although he is making fun of his flaws, he is openly aware of them and making those flaws known in a less obvious way.

Attention Whore

Student, athlete, all-star, worker, friend, sister, daughter, and aunt: these are all words that can be used to describe me, Dora Leticia Ocampo. There is one word that I left out though, I am an attention grabber. Although in essays attention grabbers can sometimes be my weakness, in reality I excel. If I am not the center of attention where ever I go, then I am most likely bored out of my mind or I could simply care less. I try hard to get someone’s attention and if I do not, I get upset. Not only do I get upset, but I try harder and harder to get someone’s attention. If I do not have your undivided attention, then I do not want it at all. But once your attention is on me, I promise to keep you entertained with my jokes, pointless stories, and more.

Freshman year I made myself known. I talked to random people in the hallways, screamed “OH BABY” practically everywhere I went, and I was making friends every second of everyday. It got to the point where everyone knew my name and I struggled to remember theirs. Basketball also boosted up my popularity. I was a freshman starting on the varsity team, and to add the icing on the cake I was also the leading scorer, most valuable player, and a member of the all-star team. During the 2006-2007 basketball season, there is one game that I will always remember.

“Dora Ocampo’s big night was not enough for the Trinity Catholic Falcons” (if I remember correctly) was what the newspaper said. My freshman year I played in what was our very first close game of the season. The entire game went well. My confidence arose as I failed to miss a shot in the second half of the game. Eventually I started missing a couple of shots, but the majority went in. The last two minutes of the game were the most nerve racking. Basically the entire starting line up fouled out except for me, and we were down by three points with a couple of seconds left. Coach immediately told us that we needed a three pointer and that he had all the faith in the world that I could make it in. I felt the pressure a little bit, but not too much. It is not like we were undefeated or anything, if we lost then it would simply be just another L in our book.

The clock was on and the time was winding down. I caught a long pass, saw no one in front of me, stepped up to the three point line, and with the ugliest form ever I shot the three pointer that tied up the game, forcing us into overtime. Our bench was going crazy because we all finally saw hope, and as everyone jumped on top of me, I remained calm. I am a humble person at times, and one of those times is during that game against North Cambridge Catholic. I loved the attention of course, but I kept it to myself. All eyes were on me and it felt great. Then it kicked in that I did not win the game for us but I simply gave us another chance to win.

Overtime began and I was the only starter in the game. My goal was to score as many points as possible. The quicker they got me the ball, the quicker I would try to shoot. I practically played the entire game, except for a couple of minutes, and I grew tired. My shots were no longer going in, I gasped for air while running up and down the court, and watched as NCC scored more points than us. I was on top of the world after the fourth quarter and at the bottom by the end of overtime. Losing that game was definitely a huge reality check, but it did not stop me.

I am still, and came to the conclusion that I will always be an attention grabber. I did learn to be more positive though. My sophomore year I became more involved in school and I think that it drew attention to me in a positive way. Loud, obnoxious, full of smart comments and jokes is how I will always be. Your eyes are either on me or at nothing at all.

"Shooting an Elephant"

1.) How is this a story about two disparate major themes? How are these themes intertwined?

In George Orwell's short story "Shooting an Elephant," imperialism and peer pressure are the major themes expressed. Although it may appear as if both themes differentiate from each other, Orwell intertwined these themes perfectly. “Shooting an Elephant” is about a British police officer who resided in Burma. He was despised by many of the residents in Burma and the only time he was liked was when he did something that he was completely against.
The British officer headed out to a village with only the knowledge that there was an elephant on the loose. He grabbed a gun and was off to see what he could possibly do. While in search for the elephant, a group of natives walked behind him, as if he were a leader. The natives were excited and awaited the death of the elephant, and in fear of displeasing the natives, the British officer did as they wanted: “but in reality I was only an absurd puppet pushed to and fro by the will of those yellow faces behind” (224). His reason for killing the elephant was not because he wanted to, but because he felt obliged to: “I often wondered whether any of the others grasped that I had done it solely to avoid looking a fool” (227). The British officer gave into the peer pressure and killed the elephant for the pleasure of the natives.
The British officer resides in a country where imperialism plays a major role and imperialism may be the reason why he gave into peer pressure. After living with the Burmese people and seeing how they are controlled by England, hatred for the English arose. Is that why the British officer decided to kill the elephant? His anti-European feelings could quite possibly have been the reason why he gave in to peer pressure.

2.) What tactics does Orwell employ when revealing unflattering aspects of himself?
Orwell revealed unflattering aspects of himself by comparing what he wanted to do with what the natives wanted him to do. George Orwell made it clear that shooting the elephant was only an option if the elephant was causing danger: "I had no intention of shooting the elephant- I had merely sent for the rifle to defend myself if necessary" (224). Yet, he also mentioned the crowd behind him and how they were influencing him to do something out of his comfort zone. Overall, his submissiveness to peer pressure revealed these unflattering aspects of himself.

10 Steps to Being Popular

1. If it is NOT designer then do NOT wear it. Therefore, there is no shopping at Tellos or any other stores that are not brand name or tries to mimick brand name clothing.
2. School work is for losers. The less you pay attention, the cooler you appear. Failing grades on tests and quizes is the cool thing to do. Homework is not meant to be done at home, but during the period before that class.
3. If you do not plan on drinking, do not bother going to parties and friendly gatherings. Being drunk and stupid around your friends make you popular.
4. Being high is the best feeling in the world. Having red eyes, smelling like weed, and not having enough strength to concentrate will make people want to be your friend.
5. Virgins? That word does not exist in our Popular Dictionary. If you do not put out then you cannot be put into the Popular Crew.
6. If he/she is not cute or popular, then do not bother even looking at them. You cannot date a loser or even be friends with them.
7. Being rude and treating people like dirt makes you feel better about yourself. The better you feel and the more conceited that you are, the more people will realize that you are popular.
8. Never let someone outshine you. Being the center of attention is key to being popular. If you are not being noticed by others, then you are not popular.
9. Do not be a follower and do not allow people to be on the same level as you. You are greater than anyone, and your purpose in life is to lead. What you say goes, and that is final.
10. Friends, friends, and friends. Do not worry about what your teachers or family members think about. The only opinion that matters is that of your friends. Hence, spending quality time with your dying grandfather, your new born baby sister, and your mother who has just gotten out of surgery is not of importance.

Against Lying

Do you know what it feels like to be lied to? If not, consider yourself lucky. Being lied to is not enjoyable, it evokes emotions of disappointment, disloyalty, and unworthiness. Although many people may say that they lie with the best intentions for the other person, they are wrong. Who are we to say that we know what is best for another human? The well being of someone should not be formed with falsity. Telling a lie is selfish, it can make situations worse, lead to more lies, and they affect the feelings of others.
Humans contain the ability to work well with, relate to, and communicate with others, making them social beings. Humans also depend on others frequently: a newborn depends on his/her mother, a restaurant owner relies his/her success on their customers, and a student depends on his/her teacher for knowledge and answers. If we were all selfish beings, how would marriages work? How would babies survive? They would not. No matter where one looks, someone is bound to be present. Life would be impossible without interacting with others. What happens when you lie to someone? When lying to someone, you are simply being selfish. You are most likely trying to dodge conflict or are afraid of the consequences of the truth. Most people think that lying can get them out of difficult situations, making it easier on them, but that is not always the case. Lying can put them into a deeper whole, making the situation worse than if the truth be told.
People’s reactions occur in the spur of the moment; therefore they cannot and should not be predicted. Often times people try to predict the reactions of others when planning a lie. This is not always effective because one’s predictions may not go as planned. When one encounters a bump in the road, overreacting is a possibility. In the process of overreacting, one is not thinking clearly, making them prone to mistakes. These mistakes may force the situation into a much more serious and severe situation or it may force the person to tell another lie.
Lying is like a drug. You tell yourself that you are only going to try it once, but then the high felt so good that you had to do it again. When getting away with a lie, you feel as if you are on top of the world and no one can catch you. After noticing that you did not get caught, an immediate reaction is to try lying again and see how far it goes this time. Eventually overtime all those lies accumulate, and your entire life would be based on lies. For example, when meeting a member of the opposite sex, one tends to lie about their age. After lying about their age, they automatically have to lie about what year in school they are in. Depending on how big of a difference there is between the ages, they have to lie about where they reside and their occupation. If a lasting relationship is then desired, sooner or later the truth must be told. As stated previously, being lied to is not enjoyable and one’s sentimental feelings will be impaired.
Unless you rejoice in another’s pain, lying is not recommended. The worst part about being lied to is finding out about the lie. An immediate reaction is to doubt everything that has come out of the liar’s mouth, making it impossible to ever trust that person again. Realizing that someone you once thought was deserving of your trust had completely taken that for granted, damages the person emotionally. Feelings that one is not worth the truth overcomes and a guard is put up, a guard attempting to protect one’s feelings from ever getting hurt again. Being lied to is not something that is easy to get over, and after being lied to continuously it begins to affect the person in many ways, making friendships and relationships much harder to develop.
In our society, lying has been made into something that is acceptable. It has been made so acceptable, that finally when someone is not lying, it seems imperative for one to say either “real talk,” “true story,” or “I swear” at the end of a true statement. Is it fair to believe that when “real talk” is not added, that the statement said is false? We are living in a society where lying is being endorsed, challenging us and making it difficult to tell the truth. These lies affect negatively the lives of not only the person being lied to but also the person lying. So next time you lie, think about how much easier it will be to tell the truth.

Pros about Self-Esteem

Do you like how it feels to win? Do you like answering questions right on a quiz? What is it about these feelings that make you feel so good? Two words, self-esteem. Our self esteem rises when ever we do something good. And it falls when ever we do something bad. It’s an easy concept to perceive right? Wrong. Although a lot of people express their high self-esteem effectively, there are others who use it for the worst, as Slater described in “The Trouble with Self-Esteem.” Having a high self-esteem means having a high love for self and being self confident enough that one is not afraid to encounter new and difficult challenges.
Loving yourself is important when it comes to loving others: “If you don't love yourself, you cannot love others. You will not be able to love others. If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not able of developing compassion for others” (Dalai Lama). When you feel good about your actions, you feel good about yourself in general. Therefore making it easy to be happy with yourself as a whole. Having the ability to say that one truly loves who they have become makes trying new things much simpler.
Trying new things is never easy. It takes a lot of motivation and dedication. Most people are afraid to try new things because of their fear of failing. When one’s self-esteem is high, failing at something will not seem as that big of a deal. It is merely just a bump in one’s road to success. Having a high self-esteem makes it easier for one to bounce back after not being successful at something. Life should never be perfect, there should always be something challenging in your life. Mistakes are made so that next time they will be corrected. Just remember, keep your head up high and do not let anyone take you down.