Essential #10

“All along I had been … immediate apprehension” (59).

My rewrite:

“All along Jane had been dreading the fulfillment of Mr. Brocklehurst’s promise, - she had been looking out daily for the “Coming Man,” whose information respecting Jane’s past life and conversation was to brand her as a bad child for ever: now there he was. He stood at Miss Temple’s side; he was speaking low in her ear. Undoubtedly Jane assumed that he was making disclosures of her supposed villainy. As Jane observed Miss Temple’s eye with painful anxiety, expecting every moment to see its dark orb to turn on her a glance of repugnance and contempt. As Jane carefully listened, she caught most of what he said. Jane felt relieved from immediate apprehension”

Analysis:

Although readers can infer how Jane is feeling through descriptive words and word choice, readers are blinded from Jane’s true emotions due to the lack of a personal connection with Jane. Jane’s feelings of loneliness, fear, and anxiety are clearly introduced to the readers, but the severity of these emotions are unknown due to the novel being translated to third person. With the novel being translated to third person, readers are unfamiliar with Jane’s motives. For example, if the novel were written in third person, readers would be ignorant to Jane’s reasons for shoving John Reed. This is similar to the Iceburg analogy that was taught to us by Mr. George. The Iceburg analogy is about solely seeing the actions but not seeing what goes into it or the process. With the novel written in first person, readers are aware of Jane’s motives and the reasoning behind her actions.